Arsenic and Old Puzzles Read online

  “Really?” Chief Harper said with a forced grin. Cora could practically see the poor man trying to frame the right sequence of statements that would prompt Charlotte to volunteer the information that would crack the case.

  Not that she was about to. Talking about her getting nervous about answering was only making her nervous about answering. Cora wondered if Edith had done it deliberately. Particularly since she seemed to be having troubles of her own.

  “You’re the one who checked him in?” Chief Harper asked her.

  “Yes. Because Charlotte had gone to the store. Otherwise, Charlotte would have done it. Charlotte does the check-ins, and I do the checkouts. She wasn’t here. That’s the only reason I checked him in.”

  “I understand.”

  “You sound as if you suspect foul play,” Charlotte said.

  “Of course he suspects foul play. Otherwise he’d be gone.”

  “I assure you this is just routine, Miss Guilford.”

  “Which Miss Guilford?” Charlotte said. “Are you talking to her or to me?”

  “I’m talking to both of you.” Harper took a breath. “There’s a chance there’s something irregular about the gentleman’s death. But, believe me, no one suspects you.”

  “Who do you suspect?” Edith said.

  “I don’t suspect anyone.”

  “Then not suspecting us isn’t reassuring. We were with the man when he died. We served him the tea.” Her eyes widened. “Was something wrong with the tea?”

  “The tea is excellent,” Harper said. Even as he issued that assurance, he looked suspiciously at his teacup.

  Cora stifled a grin. Now the Guilford sisters had the chief imagining assassins.

  “When did he check in?”

  “Yesterday afternoon.”

  “How did he get here?’

  “He took a bus.”

  “There’s no bus to Bakerhaven.”

  “He said he took a bus to Danbury and came in a cab.”

  “Which would be very expensive,” Charlotte said.

  “You doubt his story?” Cora said.

  Charlotte’s mouth fell open. “What do you mean, doubt his story? You mean, do I think he was lying?”

  Cora shrugged. “I don’t know. Is that what you meant?”

  “No one’s doubting anyone’s story,” Chief Harper said. “The man could have taken a cab from Danbury. It would be expensive, but maybe he had money. We don’t know because we don’t know who he is.”

  “I suppose that’s my fault,” Edith said. “But he paid cash. When I asked his name, he smiled and said, ‘Tom.’ Then he counted out the money. And he gave it to me and he smiled and he kept talking and I forgot to ask him what his last name was.”

  “It’s not like you asked him and he refused to answer?”

  “Well, I asked him, and he said, ‘Tom.’”

  “Just the one time?”

  “You think I should have asked him twice?”

  “No, I’m just asking what you did.”

  “Well, that’s what happened. And he said he was exhausted and he went up to bed.”

  “You showed him the room?”

  “Of course I showed him the room. You can’t just let the guests pick a room.”

  “And he just had the one suitcase?”

  “That’s right.”

  “No briefcase? No other bag?”

  “No. Just the one.”

  “Did we do something wrong?” Charlotte put in.

  “No. But you’re witnesses, in case there is anything irregular about his death.”

  “What did the doctor say?”

  “I’m not prepared to discuss what the doctor said. He has to make his examination. I have to make mine.”

  “Of course. Ask us anything you like. Charlotte, pay attention now. We have to help the policeman. What would you like to know, Chief?”

  Cora’s eyes twinkled. She wondered if the poor man, put on the spot, could think of a single question.

  Turned out he could.

  “Do you ladies keep weed killer in the house?”

  “Weed killer?” Charlotte said. “Certainly not. We do organic gardening with no pesticides. Would you like to see the garden?”

  “Not right now.”

  “On your way out, then,” Edith said. “Do you like tomatoes? They’re just ripe. We could give you a few.”

  “And you, too,” Charlotte added to Cora Felton. “For your cooking.”

  Cora, who couldn’t recall the last thing she’d cooked that didn’t come in a microwavable pouch, smiled and nodded.

  “So you say you have no poisons in the house,” Harper said.

  “I didn’t say that. Charlotte, did you say that? I didn’t hear you say that. I know we got distracted by tomatoes, but I’m sure Charlotte wouldn’t say that.”

  “You mean you do have poison in the house?”

  “We do not have weed killer,” Edith said. “I would like to make that perfectly clear. We don’t believe in it.”

  “But you do have poison?”

  “Well…” Edith lowered her voice confidentially, smiled, and nodded. “We have a problem with woodchucks.”

  Chapter

  4

  Becky Baldwin was the prettiest lawyer in Bakerhaven. Granted, she was the only lawyer in Bakerhaven; still, she was probably the prettiest lawyer in all of Connecticut. A willowy blonde in her twenties with the face of an angel, Becky was not the first lawyer one would choose if one were in a scrape.

  One would be wrong. Becky was an exceptional lawyer, who deserved a wider practice. In Cora’s opinion, her looks held her back. Cora figured that Becky would have a sensational law practice, if she were only ugly. As it was, her one-room law office was down a side street over the pizza parlor.

  Becky was sitting at her desk when Cora came in.

  “What you up to?” Cora said.

  “Bookkeeping. I can’t afford a bookkeeper, so I do it myself. Did you know if your income doesn’t exceed your expenses, it’s hard to make a profit?”

  “I know it’s definitely time to remarry.” Cora slumped into a chair, pulled out a cigarette.

  “Can’t smoke in here,” Becky said.

  “I’m bringing you business. You know, that income-producing stuff.”

  Cora lit the cigarette, took a drag.

  “If you don’t have a job for me, I’m going to put that cigarette where the sun don’t shine.”

  “Oh, tough talk. This happens to be a genuine job. You’d do well to take it seriously. Even as we speak, your clients are being deprived of their constitutional rights.”

  “My clients?”

  “The Guilford sisters. Edith and Charlotte Guilford.”

  “What did they do?”

  “Absolutely nothing. As a lawyer, you should know that. But Chief Harper suspects them of poisoning one of the boarders of their bed-and-breakfast.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “I was just there. The sisters were serving afternoon tea. The guy keeled over from what Harper suspects was a whacking dose of poison.”

  “What makes Chief Harper suspect that?”

  “Actually, it’s the doctor that suspects it.”

  “Barney Nathan suspects something?”

  “Well, I gave him a hint. He’s doing the autopsy now.”

  “Who’s the corpse?”

  “Tom.”

  “Tom?”

  “He didn’t have any identification on him. He checked in as Tom.”

  “How do you check in as Tom?”

  “He paid cash.”

  “He didn’t have a wallet on him?”

  “Not when he was killed.”

  “He checked in last night?”

  “That’s right.”

  “What did he do today?”

  “Don’t know. Chief Harper skipped right to the tea. When the sisters admitted having poison, I thought you’d like to join the party.”

  Becky frowned. “Did you see
this Tom?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What was he like?”

  “Elderly gentleman, conservatively dressed. Well, seventy-six, which Chief Harper thinks is elderly, and hopes won’t offend me.”

  “What?”

  “Am I really that old, Becky, that people have to worry about hurting my feelings?”

  “You’re young, you’re vibrant, you have a gun in your purse,” Becky said irritably. “Could we stick with the potential homicide? What else do you know about him?”

  “He was a widower.”

  Becky raised her eyebrows.

  Cora flushed angrily. “I was not considering him matrimonial material. I never saw him alive. That was the one detail the sisters managed to get out of him.”

  “What were you doing there?”

  “Harper called me.”

  “How come?”

  “Tom had a sudoku in his pocket.”

  “Uh-oh. Did you solve it?”

  “No. I snuck out to get you.” Cora shook her head. “I’m beginning to regret it.”

  Chapter

  5

  The young man who met them at the door smiled at Becky, which won him no points with Cora.

  “I’m sorry, but it’s not a good time just now. My aunts are a little busy.”

  Cora, for whom being ignored by a good-looking young man was just one more kick in the age bracket, said, “Yeah, well, a dead man will do that. And who are you?”

  Well-bred to a fault, the young man immediately began to apologize for her rudeness. “I’m sorry. I’m Alan Guilford.” He ducked his head boyishly, and his brown curly hair fell in his face. “I’m afraid there’s been an unfortunate incident.”

  “Yeah,” Cora said. “We saw the police chief’s car outside. Becky’s a big girl, didn’t figure he was here collecting for the policemen’s ball. She’s a lawyer, by the way, in case you couldn’t tell. Some people can’t.”

  Alan blinked. “I don’t understand.”

  Becky smiled. “You must not be from around here. I’m Becky Baldwin. This is Cora Felton.”

  His eyes widened. “The Puzzle Lady. I’m sorry. I should have recognized you.”

  For Becky it was an education. Cora went from snide to flirty in the blink of an eye.

  “Well, that’s so nice of you, young man. Alan, did you say? And the sisters are your aunts?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Ah,” Cora said. She actually took him by the hand. “Then this may come as a bit of a shock. It seems the gentleman who died may have ingested poison.”

  Alan looked astonished.

  “Yes, I know,” Cora said. “Absolutely ridiculous, but that’s why the police are here, and that’s why I thought they might need an attorney.”

  “My aunts? That’s ridiculous. They wouldn’t harm a fly.”

  “You know it and I know it. But just let the media get hold of it and look what happens. Poison is a woman’s weapon. You mention poison and little old ladies come to mind. Which is why it’s foolish to take chances. If your aunts can afford it, they’d be wise to retain counsel.”

  “They can afford it, all right, but is it really necessary? They’re such sweet old dears, I would hate to upset them.”

  “No one wants to upset them, but I would strongly advise you to let Becky listen in on the questions. In case something should arise, she’d be there to handle it.”

  “Well, if you think the policeman wouldn’t object.”

  “Object? Nonsense. He’d love it.”

  Alan ushered them into the living room. Chief Harper didn’t look delighted to see them, but he didn’t look unhappy, either. Apparently the questioning was not going well.

  “Ah,” he said. “You’ve brought in reinforcements.”

  “I’m sure you know Becky Baldwin,” Cora said, “Bakerhaven’s attorney-at-law. She’s often brought in in the case of an untimely death to help the police sort out the facts of the case.”

  “There’s a way to express it,” Harper said dryly.

  “Why?” Edith said. “Do you need an attorney, Chief Harper?”

  “No, I do not need an attorney. Cora thought you might. Apparently, she didn’t know how adept you are at answering questions.”

  “Whatever do you mean?” Charlotte said.

  “Come in and sit down,” Edith said. “Would you like some tea? Alan, you never got your tea. Why don’t you pour some for these ladies. We have the most lovely tea biscuits, but the chief won’t let us have them.”

  “Unfortunately, they’re in there,” Harper said.

  Officer Dan Finley came in from the parlor carrying a camera. “Got ’em, Chief. And I put the ribbon up. Anything else you need?”

  “Not at the moment, Dan. And did you notice Cora Felton and Becky Baldwin are here?”

  Though probably the same age as Alan Guilford, Dan had a boyish quality that made the other man seem positively mature. “Hi, guys. What’s up?”

  “Has it come to that?” Cora said. “You’re processing a crime scene and you ask what’s up?”

  “Sorry,” Dan said. “Didn’t mean to be insensitive, but apparently the ladies didn’t know the gentleman in question. Isn’t that right, ladies?”

  “This interrogation is awfully informal,” Becky said.

  “It’s not an interrogation,” Harper said. “I’m just asking some routine questions, trying to get the situation straightened out. No doubt this will all turn out to be a misunderstanding.”

  “Amazing how many suspects have been marched off to jail after just such a pronouncement,” Cora said. “What did you learn while I was gone to make you sure this was nothing?”

  Alan had come back from the kitchen with three steaming teas. He served Cora first, which would have pleased her if the phrase age before beauty hadn’t gone through her head.

  He took his time serving Becky Baldwin, and seemed to smile more than Cora felt was necessary for a simple cup of tea.

  Chief Harper waited until the teacups had been distributed before answering Cora’s question. “I’ve learned nothing. Which is remarkable, considering the amount of time it’s taken me to learn nothing. The Guilford sisters live alone in the house, they have four guest rooms, which are unoccupied at the moment, with the exception of the gentleman’s overnight bag.”

  “And what are we to do with that?” Charlotte said. “We can’t keep it. Occasionally we hang on to someone’s bags until they pick them up, but he’s not going to do that.”

  “No, he’s not. At any rate, the house is empty. And was last night when the gentleman checked in.”

  “Only because I’d gone to the store,” Charlotte said.

  “I understand. Otherwise, you’d have checked him in.”

  “Yes, and I would have gotten his name.”

  Edith’s mouth fell open. “Well, I never!”

  “Not that I’m blaming you. You’re not used to checking people in. That’s my job.”

  “The point is,” Chief Harper persisted, “you two live here alone.”

  “Well, we don’t need anyone else,” Edith said. “It’s not like we have a cook or a maid. We share the responsibility.”

  “I’m sure you do. And who made breakfast this morning?”

  “We both did.”

  “Uh-huh,” Harper said, without enthusiasm. “And who made what?”

  “She made the eggs. I made the coffee,” Edith volunteered.

  “And the bacon. Don’t forget the bacon,” Charlotte said.

  “The bacon’s not a problem. It’s the toast.”

  “What’s the toast?” Chief Harper said.

  “Charlotte puts butter on the toast.”

  “Doesn’t everyone put butter on the toast?” Cora said.

  “Not these days,” Edith said. “Not with cholesterol. If it turns out that poor man died of a heart attack because of high cholesterol…”

  “Oh, for goodness’ sake,” Charlotte said. “He did not die from buttered toast.”


  “Well, you slather it on. If you let him butter his own toast, he wouldn’t use so much.”

  “It wouldn’t melt. You have to butter it when it’s hot or the butter doesn’t melt. No one wants to eat butter that’s standing in lumps.”

  “And what time was breakfast?”

  “Nine o’clock,” Edith said. “I said eight o’clock, but he said nine. Since he was the one eating it, we made it nine.”

  “What did he do after breakfast?”

  “He went out,” Charlotte said. “We didn’t see him until tea. Could he have eaten something somewhere else?”

  “It’s possible,” Chief Harper said. He turned to Alan. “And when did you get here?”

  “Just now. I drove up from New York.”

  “You came up from New York this afternoon?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Was this the first time you’ve been here?”

  “I’ve been here many times.”

  “I mean today. The first time you arrived today.”

  “Sure. My suitcase is in the car.”

  “So you never saw the dead man? He was gone before you got here?”

  “The ambulance was just pulling out. I assume that was him.”

  “Well, that’s disappointing,” Harper said. “That makes you rather worthless as a witness.”

  “Oh, I’m sure he has other attributes,” Cora said.

  To Chief Harper’s amazement, she actually batted her eyes.

  Disconcerted, Chief Harper plowed ahead. “And what are you doing here? Just visiting your aunts?”

  “No. Not that I’m not happy to see them, but I actually came to see Arlene.”

  “Arlene?” Cora said sharply. “Who’s Arlene?”

  The door flew open and a beautiful young brunette burst in and threw herself into Alan’s arms.

  Chapter

  6

  Amazing how one’s estimations plummet. With the introduction of a girlfriend, Alan Guilford went from being an attractive young man to an undesirable intruder and most likely a murder suspect.

  The lady in question had several strikes against her. For one thing she was with Alan. For another thing she was young. And not just young, but remarkably young, absurdly young, perhaps even younger than Becky Baldwin. She had dark brown hair, cut short, and falling in excruciatingly casual curls around a baby face with a button nose and flashing blue eyes. Her smile lit up the room, though she directed it mainly toward Alan. She favored the others with the sort of regard a queen might lavish on her subjects. Cora assessed her charitably as a promiscuous gold digger, uncharitably as a crack whore.