With This Puzzle, I Thee Kill Read online

  “Oh. This.”

  Chief Harper whipped out the envelope, showed her the message.

  “Oh, my goodness,” Sherry said.

  “Yeah, it’s a puzzle,” Chief Harper said. “You think your aunt can solve it?”

  “Oh.”

  “Not to disparage her ability. But this is another type of puzzle entirely. I don’t even know what you call it.”

  “It’s a simple cryptogram,” Sherry said. “A basic code. Letters are substituted for other letters.”

  “How do you go about solving it?”

  “Find letters that are obvious. Apostrophes help a lot. An apostrophe and a letter, it’s gonna be S or T. You notice here you’ve got an apostrophe and two letters. There are not many contractions of that nature. VE or RE or LL. Plus the letters are the same in every word throughout the message, so if you get one letter here, you replace it all the way through. And—” Sherry broke off, blushing.

  “What is it?”

  “Nothing,” Sherry said. Actually, she’d just realized she was revealing far too much expertise. “I guess I was speaking out of turn. I know a lot from helping Cora.”

  “Let me copy it, and I’ll leave it for her.”

  “Yes, of course. Come on in, Chief.”

  Sherry led Chief Harper into the office, realized belatedly that her crossword puzzle was still on the screen. She flushed again, murmured, “Oh, just let me save this puzzle Cora was working on.”

  She saved the puzzle, closed the program. “You know, these machines are all interrelated. Sometimes when you print on one, you screw up the other. Modern technology run amok. You gotta be careful.”

  Sherry realized she was chattering on. She took the paper from Chief Harper, fed it through the fax machine. “Now, if I just press PRINT instead of dialing a number, it’ll go through and make a copy. See? Watch.”

  Sherry ran off a copy, handed the original back to Chief Harper. She took her copy, wrote on it.

  “What’s that?” Harper asked.

  Sherry showed him. “Just writing what was on the envelope. No need to copy it, but Cora should see what it was.”

  Chief Harper stuck the letter back in his pocket. “Have her call me as soon as she gets in.”

  “Yes, of course.”

  Sherry walked Chief Harper out just as Cora and Raymond drove up in Raymond’s rental car. Cora was wearing the same dress she’d worn at dinner. Sherry wondered if Chief Harper knew that. Had he seen her yesterday? Would he notice even if he had?

  Raymond Harstein III seemed to flinch at the sight of the police officer. If so, he immediately covered it with hearty goodwill. “Oh, no, the authorities!” he cried. “Don’t tell me, let me guess. We’re busted! Some local ordinance no one ever knew about, and damned if we didn’t break it.”

  Chief Harper smiled. “Nothing so serious. We received some sort of cryptic message and I need Miss Felton to decipher it.”

  Raymond’s nose twitched, making his mustache dance. “Well, that’s mighty interesting. Some kind of puzzle?”

  “So it seems. Miss Carter, here, thinks it’s some sort of code.”

  Cora, whose fingers had turned to putty at the sight of a puzzle, grabbed at this lifeline. “Then I’m sure it is. Sherry does all my research and is invaluable in my work. She is invariably right.”

  “Here, take a look,” Chief Harper said.

  Cora tried to hide her reluctance by snatching the puzzle.

  Sherry and Raymond crowded around and looked over her shoulder.

  “Aha,” Cora said, not having the faintest idea what she was aha-ing at. She pointed to the handwriting. “What’s this here?”

  “That was typed on the envelope,” Sherry said. “I wrote it there so I wouldn’t have to make a separate copy. You’ll notice,” she went on, “that these two words on the envelope are exactly the same as the two words in the salutation. Which will make this very easy to solve. This will be the name of the person the letter is to. This word in front of it will undoubtedly be dear. Knowing four very common letters will go a long way toward solving this thing.”

  “Yes, it certainly will,” Cora said. She hadn’t the faintest idea what Sherry was talking about.

  “Too bad there aren’t any blanks for you to fill in, like a crossword,” Sherry said. “But I have fairly good handwriting. Maybe I can fill in the letters for you, just above the ones they replace.”

  “That would be very helpful,” Cora said.

  “Come on, everybody, let’s go inside, sit down, and Cora will solve this for you.”

  Like a fast-talking master of ceremonies, Sherry managed to shepherd everyone into the living room and install the two men in easy chairs. She and Cora sat on the couch.

  Sherry picked up a magazine to lean the letter against, and, still talking fast, said, “I’m going to fill in all the D’s, E ’s, A’s, and R’s in the puzzle. That will give us something to work with, then Cora can tell us what comes next.”

  Sherry’s pen flew over the letter, writing a D over every X, an E over every P, an A over every F, and an R over every U, all the time keeping up a running commentary.

  “Well, this seems to be a simple cryptogram, which you might recall from childhood. Every letter stands for another letter. It’s just a question of figuring out what.”

  Sherry’s chattering allowed her to fill in all of the four letters.

  Cora watched, hypnotized, hoping for a clue.

  She got one.

  In what Sherry had referred to as the salutation, she had written DEAR over XPFU. Over the third word, OFXQ, where Sherry had written an A over the F and a D over the X, she added an L over the O, and a Y over the Q, to spell LADY. Over the B’s in the second word, IMBBOP, she wrote two Z’s:

  Waves of relief poured over Cora. She beamed. “Well, I guess this letter is to me.”

  “What?” Chief Harper said.

  “Sure,” Cora told him. “The salutation, ‘Dear gobbledygook’ is going to be ‘Dear Blank Lady.’ The B’s in IMBBOP will be Z’s, and IMBBOP will be PUZZLE. Puzzle Lady. That’s what’s on the envelope, and that’s who the letter is to. Fill that in, Sherry, and we’ll take it from there.”

  “Good work, Cora,” Sherry said. “Here, let me see what that looks like.”

  Sherry swiftly filled in the letters:

  “Looks like you’re in luck, Cora,” Sherry said, managing to point at the word Y u’re as her pen flew over the paper.

  “I sure am,” Cora said. “The first word is You’re. Which gives us the letter O. Add that in, Sherry.”

  “Sure thing. And you’ve got apostrophe Z and apostrophe E. That can only be S and T. I’ll add them in too.”

  Cora’s eyes widened with excitement as she realized she could actually see words emerging. “Look! Do ’t is going to be don’t. So W is N! And _t’s has to be It’s. So J is I! Fill them in, Sherry! Fill them in!”

  Sherry was writing as fast as she could, but it was hard to keep up with Cora, now that she was on the scent.

  “Look! T_e is The, so N is H!”

  Sherry filled it in.

  “And look!” Cora cried. “_hile there’s still ti_e is while there’s still time! So G is M! And L is W! So the second word is going to be making! So A is K and S is G! So it’s You’re making a big mistake. So C is B! And that gives you, you’ll break it off. So R is F! Fill it in, Sherry! We got it!”

  The puzzle was finally done:

  “Okay,” Sherry said. “Here it is:

  Sherry looked up. “There’s no signature. Of course, you wouldn’t expect one.”

  Raymond Harstein’s brow was knit in angry lines. “What the hell is this?” he demanded. “It sounds like a personal attack against me. That’s what it is, isn’t it? A letter addressed to Cora telling her to dump me. Who could have done such a thing?”

  “Who would have done such a thing?” Cora said. “Raymond, don’t be silly. This is just a sick joke. I don’t know who would do such a thing, or
why. But it doesn’t mean a thing. Just ignore it.”

  “Ignore it? Someone tells you I’m a wicked man and you shouldn’t marry me, and you want me to just ignore it?”

  “Marry you?” Chief Harper said.

  Cora flashed her ring as coyly as a schoolgirl who’d just been asked to the prom. “We’re engaged.”

  “Well, congratulations!” Chief Harper smiled at Cora. Then he frowned. “You realize that makes this a little more serious. It’s probably just a prank, but it isn’t funny, and I intend to get to the bottom of it.” He chuckled, shook his head. “So you’re really getting married. Isn’t that something. Have you set the date yet?”

  Cora smiled. “As a matter of fact, we have.”

  8

  “WHAT’S BUGGING YOU?” CORA DEMANDED.

  Sherry was on the couch, lost in thought. She didn’t even hear the question. Cora had to ask it again.

  “Huh?” Sherry said. “Oh, nothing.”

  Cora snorted in exasperation. “Don’t ‘Oh, nothing’ me. I know a something from a nothing. Now, what’s this nothing all about?”

  “The warning letter.”

  “Sherry, sweetheart. I’m not worried. Raymond’s not worried. And if you noticed, Chief Harper’s not really worried. Who the hell cares if I get married to Raymond? Who the hell even knows? I mean, people may have seen us around town, but I doubt if it’s upsetting anyone.”

  “I doubt it too,” Sherry said.

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “Dennis.”

  “Sherry, you’re not making sense. I thought we were talking about the letter.”

  “I am talking about the letter.”

  “What?”

  “The letter wasn’t addressed to you. It was addressed to the Puzzle Lady.”

  “So?”

  “You’re not the Puzzle Lady. I am.”

  “Yeah, but no one knows it.”

  “Dennis does.”

  Cora’s mouth fell open. She closed it. Then she grimaced, shook her head. “Sherry, I gotta stop you right here. You’re not thinking clearly. I know you’re upset to see Dennis. But you’re projecting. Just because you’re obsessed with Dennis doesn’t mean everything that happens has something to do with Dennis. You really think after he got here last night and met Aaron Grant, he rushed back to his hotel, made up a threatening puzzle, and dropped it off at the police station in the hope it would get to you? I feel it only fair to point out if the answer to that question is yes, you are in serious need of therapy.”

  Sherry sighed. “No, I don’t think that happened. At least not the way you lay it out. I don’t know if Dennis is involved, I just wish he weren’t around.”

  “You and me both.” Cora shook her head. “No, the letter is warning me about Raymond. Why, I have no idea. A nicer man you wouldn’t want to meet.”

  “Didn’t you say that about Melvin?” Sherry invoked the name of one of Cora’s least favorite husbands.

  “Please.” Cora shuddered. “There’s no comparison. None. Raymond’s a brick.”

  “Where’s he come from?”

  “San Diego.”

  “What’s he do there?”

  “Sherry, what are you trying to pull?”

  “I’m not trying to pull anything. But if someone is warning you not to marry Raymond, don’t you think it would be advisable to know who Raymond is?”

  “Raymond’s in hotel management.”

  “He’s a concierge?”

  Cora made a face. “No, he’s an owner.”

  “So what does he do?”

  “He doesn’t do anything. He’s independently wealthy.”

  “From owning hotels?”

  “Yes.”

  “Which hotels?”

  “Stop it! Stop it right there. Don’t you see? This is just what the person who wrote that letter wants.”

  Cora pulled her cigarettes out of her purse and lit one up.

  “I thought you quit smoking.”

  “I have quit smoking. I never smoke when I’m with Raymond. I never smoke in public. You’re family, you don’t count.”

  “Aunt Cora—”

  “How can I stop drinking and smoking at the same time? It’s unnatural.”

  “Does Raymond know you’re smoking?”

  “Sherry, you’re such a stickler for details. Raymond knows I’m making an effort. Raymond appreciates the effort I’m making. Why should I depress him?”

  “Why, indeed?”

  Cora took a greedy drag. “Oh, that’s good. I can almost think straight. See, even in the middle of a nicotine fit I can tell you Dennis didn’t send that letter.”

  “Then you’re still not thinking straight, Cora. We finished that subject. We were talking about Raymond.”

  “Talking? No. You were cross-examining me about Raymond, and I won’t have it. He’s the first man to come along for years—”

  “And how many years would that be?”

  “Never mind. He’s the first decent man to come along—”

  “I don’t understand. If you knew the other men were indecent, why did you marry them?”

  “You’re getting on my nerves, Sherry.”

  “Something needs to make an impression on you. You just got a letter warning you off your marriage. Yet you refuse to discuss the man you’re going to marry next Saturday. Talk about love being blind.”

  “Oh, give it a rest,” Cora snapped. “You’re just freaking out because Dennis is marrying your best friend.”

  Sherry’s angry retort froze on her lips. She sighed. “You’re right, I am. I absolutely am. But can you blame me? It’s bad news, Cora. It’s the worst. My best friend making the same mistake I did. And she won’t even listen to me when I try to warn her off.”

  Cora stubbed her cigarette out. She sat on the couch, took Sherry by the hands. “Exactly. That’s why you’re upset about Dennis being here. It has nothing to do with the stupid message.”

  “So the stupid letter isn’t about Dennis, it’s about Raymond?”

  Cora let go of Sherry’s hands, fingered her engagement ring. “The stupid message has nothing to do with anyone. Hell, I’m not even sure we solved it right. I mean, all we’re doing is substituting letters. Maybe we fill in a different set and it says, ‘Mail in this entry and win a free DVD player.’ ”

  “I can assure you it doesn’t.”

  “The point is, you wanna get freaked out about Dennis, fine, I don’t blame you. If there’s any way I can help you convince Brenda he’s a schmuck, let me know.” Cora leveled her finger at Sherry. “But Raymond’s a good man, I’m marrying him next Saturday, and that’s all there is to it. And nothing you can do or say is going to change my mind.”

  Sherry watched Cora stalk off toward her room.

  Maybe not, Sherry thought, but she was sure gonna try.

  9

  AARON GRANT TIPPED BACK IN HIS CHAIR AND FROWNED UP at Sherry Carter, who was perched on the edge of his desk. “I am not a private eye.”

  “No, but you’re an investigative reporter.”

  “For the Bakerhaven Gazette.” Aaron gestured around the newsroom. Aside from his cubicle, only three other desks were occupied, and that included the one in the managing editor’s office. “This is not exactly a national news organization. What do you expect me to do?”

  “Come on, give me a break. If it were a story, you’d know how to handle it.”

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. If it were a story, I could.”

  “Then pretend it’s a story. Is that so hard?”

  “Sherry—”

  “Aaron, this is Cora we’re talking about. You want her to wind up marrying some creep?”

  “You don’t know Raymond’s a creep.”

  “Yeah, because you won’t make a phone call.”

  Aaron winced at her tone. “Sherry, I’ve never seen you like this.”

  “What, utterly frustrated at every turn? That’s how I feel. Why won’t you help me?”


  “What do you want me to do?”

  “Look this guy up. Find out who he is. Give me something I can show to Cora.”

  “Sherry, I’ve got no authority to do that.”

  “Can’t you bluff, for God’s sake?”

  “Who would you like me to bluff?” When she started to erupt, he pointed out, “You tried to trace this guy on the Internet, and you couldn’t find him. There was no Raymond Harstein III. So, even if I contact the San Diego police and ask ’em to look him up, they’re just gonna come back and tell me they have no record of him. Now, what good will that do?”

  “It’ll give me something to hit him with. ‘Gee, Mr. Harstein, how come no one’s ever heard of you?’ ”

  “He’ll just have some suave answer, and all you’ll do is tick Cora off.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Sherry said. “All right, look. He rented a car. So he must have a driver’s license. If he does, we can trace it. If it’s in the name of Raymond Harstein III, we can find out how come he doesn’t live anywhere.”

  “So how do we get a look at his license? Have Dan Finley pull him over?”

  “That’s not a bad idea.”

  “That’s a terrible idea. It means we have to let Dan in on what we’re doing. Then he has to let Chief Harper in on it, or do it without his knowledge. If Dan tells Harper, what do you think Harper’s gonna say?”

  Sherry was silent.

  “Look, I’ll do what I can. If it were a crime, and it were a real story, I could call the San Diego cops. ‘Hey, can you run this down for me.’ But to check out a prospective bridegroom?” Aaron shook his head. “Reporters deal in credibility. You know how high mine would be after that?”

  “Just do the best you can. I’ll try to think of something.”

  Sherry smiled at the managing editor on her way out. He did not smile back. A hard-nosed newspaperman, Aaron’s boss didn’t believe in social visits on company time.

  Sherry went downstairs and through the room with the big printing presses, silent now until the evening, when tomorrow’s paper would be run. She came out the front door, climbed into Cora’s car, and drove off.